Stephen Harper Goes Out On A Limb

So, Stephen Harper's latest piece of legislation is a bill that tackles the problem of drug-impaired driving. Great, I guess: after all, it's not like there are many people who are in favour of mixing drugs and driving. But I didn't realize that drugging and driving was a major problem in Canada - and, even if it is, shouldn't the existing impaired driving laws cover it? After all, if someone is in a car, and he is weaving all over the road, the police have the power (and the duty) to arrest him, regardless of whether he is drunk, wasted, tired, merely careless, or devoting too much attention to a cell-phone conversation. How does new legislation make things different?

As the Globe reports, the press conference had the look and feel of a campaign photo opportunity, complete with apple-cheeked children and Canadian flags. It'll make a great bullet point on Tory campaign literature. Which is one of the things that bothers me so much about the Harper government: like the Ontario Tories, they seem to spend more time figuring out how to put a positive spin on their legislation than they do actually crafting it.

And I glumly predict that Finance Minister Jim Flaherty will do the same thing federally that he did provincially in Ontario: announce tax cuts, and then cut programs that benefit areas of the country that don't vote Tory. Argh, argh, argh.


I now have a new all-time favourite spam message. I got it yesterday. It is titled "With no safe place to land":

Hello!

Smoked six packs a day.

No, I really don't see how.
Just think of all the energy
Just think of all the energy
We have painted all the toilets black
They said, "Today's St. Patrick's Day
I didn't do my reading.
with some very painful sneezing,
School is closed now, what's it to ya?
that I am such a slob.
Rocky Mountain spotted fever,
while munching cookies, cakes, and chips
I hope my students don't find out
I give him all my homework,
and a patch of poison ivy,
They said, "Today's St. Patrick's Day
eight spider bites and hair loss,
a million, more or less.
If I don't get it off my chest
We have broken all the blackboards
A nice warm bubble bath!
I asked, "Why are you pinching me?
Which makes my parents glad.
but the joke was lost on me.

Obviously, this is random lines from several poems jumbled together: I found a reference to one of them, which is by Bruce Lansky.

I did a Google search for "eight spider bites and hair loss", and only got other samples of similar spam: here and here. I still think it sounds like beat poetry: I can picture the cool cats in their berets, snapping their fingers in appreciation.


If you're looking for something to do in Toronto, here's a good site to check out: 52 Mondays, dedicated to "exploring the lost art of stuff other than television". I definitely have to spend some time here, as I'm seriously thinking of getting rid of my cable: in the last month, the only thing I've watched is Raptors basketball - and, after their last game, I might not even want to do that.