Lonesome No More

One of my favourite writers, Kurt Vonnegut Jr., often writes about the importance of communities: to stay sane, human beings need to be part of like-minded groups of people. This is the theme of his novel Slapstick, or Lonesome No More.

In this novel, everyone in the United States is given, at random, an extra middle name that is composed of a noun and a number. The noun is something commonly found in the world, such as a flower, an animal, or a periodic element. The noun and number are used to assign each person to an artificial extended family. The President of the United States, for example, is given the middle name of Daffodil-11, which means that every other Daffodil-11 in the U.S. becomes his brother or sister, and everyone who is a Daffodil becomes part of the President's family (and he of theirs).

I think about Vonnegut's novel, and the need for extended communities, when thinking about social networking sites such as MySpace and Facebook. Sure, these sites have their drawbacks - mostly involving men preying upon, hassling, or in some way bothering young women - but they offer a chance to form a community that was not possible in the pre-Web days.

I've been on MySpace since April - a friend of mine talked me into joining - and, gradually, the Toronto arts and performing community is making its way onto the site. As I write this, I am "friends" with 38 performers that I know, either well or slightly (plus 18 troupes or bands). Sometimes, when I'm feeling lonely, I can go to my site and reassure myself that I actually am not alone in the world.

It's even better for younger people, who have been social networking with MySpace and Facebook from the beginning. As they get older, they will be able to maintain dozens, if not hundreds, of connections. This will help them in all sorts of ways - in particular, when looking for work, as studies have shown that 80% of all jobs are never posted as want ads, but are filled by friends or friends of friends.

When I was a freshly minted university grad, in the mid-1980s, I would have killed for a social networking site that provided a way to keep in touch. Back then, not only was there no World Wide Web - there was virtually no email. The only way to maintain contact with someone was to phone or write him or her - and, since people move a lot, it was hard to stay in touch. It was so easy back then to become isolated and alone - and I speak from experience.